Pre-Choices
From the Series—Choices
November 24, 2003This evotional concludes our Choices series.
Leadership guru John Maxwell says, “We only make a few major decisions. We spend the rest of our lives managing those decisions.” When I look back on my life I see half a dozen major decisions that totally changed the trajectory of my life. For better or for worse, you never outlive the consequences of big choices. But I want to suggest that there is a category of choices that are even more important than big choices. The most important choices you make are the choices you make before the choices you make! I call them pre choices. Let me give you a personal example.
Boundaries
Seven years ago, when NCC was a church of 25 people, I did just about everything. I was the preacher, the receptionist, the community group coordinator, and believe it or not, the worship leader. If I didn’t do it, it didn’t get done! That’s just how it was in the early years, but a few years ago NCC outgrew me. In the last two years alone, we’ve grown from an average attendance of 250 people to 750 people and our staff has grown from two to ten. That is a lot of change in a short amount of time.
That’s half the story. Here’s the other half. I’m at a life stage right now where I’ve got three young children who need tremendous amounts of time and energy from their dad. I’m a T-ball coach and “ballet instructor” and Cub Scout father!
To be perfectly candid, I hit a wall about a year ago because I was having a hard time balancing my family and my ministry. Between the kid’s events and Lora’s worship practices and my ministry-related meetings, it felt like I was never home! So I made a tough choice—a pre choice. During this season of my life, I have decided to limit my ministry-related meetings to one night a week.
I’m not going to lie. It’s been hard. Almost every week I have to turn down important meetings with important people. To compound matters, I’m a people-pleaser so it’s tough for me to say “no” to begin with! I want to be all things to all people.
But let me tell why pre choices are so important. If I didn’t limit my ministry-related meetings I’d be counseling couples or meeting with leaders or visiting community groups three or four nights a week. And those are good things, but here is what would happen: I would end up sacrificing the most important people in my life. My wife and children would get the short-end of the stick.
If you don’t make pre choices you will make compromises and end up hurting yourself and others. Let me say it another way: you will either make pre choices or wrong choices. There is no other option.
Little Compromises
The book of Daniel is all about pre choices. Daniel 1 tells the story of Babylon’s invasion of Jerusalem. That’s where we pick up the story in Daniel 1:3. “Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, who was in charge of the palace officials, to bring to the palace some of the young men of Judah’s royal family and other noble families, who had been brought to Babylon as captives. ‘Select only strong, healthy, and good-looking young men,’ he said. ‘Make sure they are well versed in every branch of learning, are filled with knowledge and good sense, and have the poise needed to serve in the royal palace. Teach these young men the language and literature of the Babylonians.’ The king assigned them a daily ration of the best food and wine from his kitchens. They were to be trained for a three-year period, and then some of them would be made advisers in the royal court.”
One of the young men chosen was Daniel. And I’m not sure how to say this, but Daniel was a ten talent person. We know from the requirements established in Daniel 1:4 that he was good-looking, he was in good shape, and he had a good head on his shoulders. But that isn’t what impresses me about Daniel. What impresses me about Daniel is what happens next.
Daniel 1:8 says, “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine.” The NLT says, “Daniel made up his mind.”
To be perfectly honest, there is probably part of you that is thinking what part of me is thinking—“What’s the big deal?” Why not just eat the royal food. Why risk your career for what’s on the menu? If you’re going to die in battle, make sure it’s a battle worth fighting. But let me put this story in cultural context and then make an observation.
One way the Babylonians worshipped their pagan gods was by offering food and wine as sacrifices and eating the leftovers as a symbol of gratitude. I don’t think Daniel had any problem with the food itself, although some of it may have been forbidden by Jewish dietary laws. I think it was what the food symbolized. Eating their food was a form of submission to the Babylonian gods. And that was a compromise Daniel was not willing to make. David made a pre choice.
Here’s the observation: big compromises start with little compromises. Ephesians 4:27 says, “Do not give the devil a foothold.” Why? Because little compromises always lead to big compromises. Sin is the quintessential slippery slope. If Daniel compromised on the little issues what would keep him from compromising on the big issues?
But let me flip the coin. Just as big compromises start with little compromises I think big convictions start with little convictions.
Convictions
If you fast forward to Daniel 6, Daniel is in a very similar situation except this time it’s not his career that’s on the line, it’s his life that is on the line. Some jealous colleagues set up a trap. They knew Daniel prayed to the God of Israel so they had the king outlaw it. I love what Daniel does next. Daniel 6:10 says, “When Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to God.”
I think some of us would have continued praying, but I wonder if we would have closed the windows (and the shades). I can’t prove this, but Daniel opened the windows and I think he prayed a little louder than normal. He refused to back down.
To make a long story short, Daniel got thrown into the lion’s den, God closed the mouth of the lions, and verse 25 says, “Then King Darius sent this message to the people of every race and nation and language throughout the world: ‘I decree that everyone throughout my kingdom should tremble with fear before the God of Daniel’.”
Wow. The King of the most powerful empire on planet earth at that time sends a message to the entire world that the God of Israel is the one, true God. That’s amazing! But here is what I want you to see. It would have never happened if Daniel hadn’t made a pre choice to pray. And I’m not sure Daniel would have had made a pre choice to pray if he hadn’t made a pre choice not to defile himself with the royal food because big convictions start with little convictions.
I believe that God promoted Daniel to the highest political office and used his pre choices to inspire and impact the entire ancient world for one simple reason. It wasn’t because Daniel was a ten talent person. It was because no one had deeper convictions than Daniel. Your destiny will be determined by the depth of your convictions—by the choices you make before the choices you make! I love the way William Scolavino said it. “The height of your achievements will be determined by the depth of your convictions.”
Undecided
A few months ago I read a fascinating book titled The Traveler’s Gift. It’s a fictional account of a man named David Ponder who travels back in time and discovers seven decisions that determine success. In one encounter he has a fictional dialogue with Columbus. And I love what Columbus says. And I can imagine him saying it. “Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. Should I? Should I not? Go forward? Go back? When confronted with a challeng, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.” Pre choices are the difference between a committed heart and an undecided heart.
I know a lot of NCCers have gone through a painful divorce. And when I write what I’m about to write, there needs to be a preface. What I’m about to write isn’t meant as past tense judgment. I want it to be a future tense encouragement.
I think a lot of marriages don’t weather the storm because one spouse has an undecided heart. If you’ve got a committed heart you search for a solution. You go for counseling. You find a way to make it work because divorce is not an option. A few years ago, I saw Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth Graham, interviewed by Oprah. Oprah asked if she had ever considered divorce. I love Ruth Graham’s response. She said, “Divorce, no. Murder, yes.” If you’ve got a committed heart you search for a solution.
One of our NCC mottos is failure is not an option. If you’re 100% committed to something you’ll die before you give up. If you’ve got a committed heart you’ll search for a solution. But if you have an undecided heart you’ll search for an escape.
No Compromise
One of the things I admire about Daniel is that he wasn’t looking for the easy way out.
Throughout your lifetime there will be moments like this one in Daniel 1 where you will be tempted to compromise internal convictions for external convenience. It would be so much easier for Daniel to have just eaten what they put on his plate. But convictions aren’t convenient.
It’s not convenient to tell your boss you can’t do what she wants you to do because you think it’s wrong. It’s not convenient to tell you friends you can’t watch what they’re watching because it violates your conscience. Telling the truth isn’t always convenient. But just as loving someone means the most when you feel it the least, doing what’s right means the most when it’s the most inconvenient.
If you follow sports, you’ve undoubtedly read about the High School quarterback from Springfield, Illinois who has been in the national headlines recently. In his final high school game, Nate Haasis became one of twelve quarterbacks in the history of Illinois high school football to pass for more than 5,000 yards. But after his final game he discovered that his coach has made a “deal” with the opposing team’s coach. Nate’s team let their opponent score. And in return, their opponent let Nate complete a 37-yard pass that put him over the 5,000 yard mark. When Nate found out, he wrote and requested that his final pass in his final game be stricken from the record books. He said the record “would have been great.” But he wanted to “reserve the integrity and sportsmanship” of the game.
Nate may not have the record anymore, but he still has his convictions. And I’m guessing he may have a few more recruiters knocking on his door because who wouldn’t want a kid like that on his team?
Tithe
If you don’t make a pre choice you’ll be tempted to compromise when things get tough. You’ll trade internal convictions for external convenience. In a sense, pre choices are stop gaps!
When Lora and I got married we made a pre choice to tithe. In other words, we decided that we would give at least 10% of our gross income to whatever church we were attending or serving as pastors. If we hadn’t made that pre decision we would not have stuck with it. I think some people bail out and forfeit the incredible blessings of God because they turn the tithe into a weekly or monthly decision.
If tithing hadn’t been a pre choice I think we would have made the wrong choice. And we would have found a way to justify it. I’m a genius when it comes to justification! There were months in seminary when we could barely make ends meet. We could have said, “I’m training for ministry. Can’t my tuition payments count as tithe?” There were financial down times when we would have been tempted not to tithe till things got better. “Shouldn’t I pay my bills first?” A few years ago we bought a house on Capitol Hill because we wanted to live where we were ministering. “God you want us to live here since the church is here. Can’t we use our tithe as a down payment?”
But we made a pre decision. God says the tithe belongs to him. We don’t make a monthly decision. We made a decision eleven years ago when we got married and because of it we have never not tithed. And the Lord has blessed us just as he promises because of that pre decision.
People Pleasers
Let me make one more observation. If you don’t make pre choices you’ll be tempted to compromise so you don’t offend somebody. Your boss or your boyfriend or your colleague will ask you to do something that would require you to compromise your convictions. And you’ll have to make a decision—do I offend God or do I offend this person?
The last thing Daniel wanted to do was offend the King. This is his big break. It’s a full-ride scholarship. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. He is part of a very elite group that is being trained to serve in the King’s administration.
The King is treating Daniel like a king. He is offering him the same food he eats. Daniel had to be thinking, “How is the King going to react to one of his servants saying the food may be good enough for you but it’s not good enough for me.” That’s doesn’t sit well. “Who am I to think that the Babylonian Empire will change its rules to appease my conscience?” I’m sure Daniel even had a fleeting flashback to his mother teaching him when he was a young boy, “Son, its rude not to eat whatever they put on your plate.”
But Daniel makes a choice. He would rather offend the king than offend God. I’m not sure what situations and scenarios you’ll find yourself in, but here is what I do know: God rarely uses a person whose main concern is what other people think. But there is no limit to the way God can use someone who refuses to offend God even if it offends others.
Now God
Daniel 1:9 says, “Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel.” When you make a pre choice that honors God, and you refuse to compromise your convictions, it sets up “Now God” moments.
The greatest opportunities come disguised as the greatest problems. At face value, this seems like a problem. But this awkward situation is actually an opportunity for Daniel to build trust with Ashpenaz—the man who can make or break his career with one reference. Daniel is incredible strategic and tactful in the way he approaches the “problem.” He gives Ashpenaz an out. “Test us for ten days on a diet of vegetables and water.” And he puts the ball in Ashpenaz’s court. “Then you can decide whether or not to let us continue eating our diet.” Daniel passed the test with flying colors!
Daniel would have never built the level of trust with Ashpenaz if he hadn’t made a pre choice not to defile himself with royal food. And I doubt Daniel would have ascended the political ladder so quickly if he hadn’t had Ashpenaz in his corner.
If you don’t live by your convictions, if you choose convenience or if you compromise, you’ll never experience “Now God” moments when God does for you what you can’t do for yourself. Pre choices are pre conditions to experiencing the supernatural favor of God upon your life!
Here’s a final thought. One of my favorite statements in The Traveler’s Gift is this one: “My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.” Think about it. The difference between a statement and an apology is the difference between pre choices and wrong choices. If you don’t make a statement you’ll make an apology. My prayer is that your life wouldn’t be an apology. My prayer is that your life would be a statement like Daniel’s life. Make a statement!