The Attitude of Gratitude
November 28, 2002William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that people can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.” You cannot always choose or control your circumstances, but you can always choose and control your attitude.
In Philippians 4:11, Paul says, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” There is nothing abstract about what Paul says in these verses. He is writing from a Middle Eastern jail cell. II Corinthians 11 documents some other circumstances that Paul found himself in. He says, “I have been in prison more frequently, flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked.” Yet Paul refused to be controlled by his circumstances.
In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms--to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
One dimension of the image of God is response-ability. It is the ability to choose our response in any set of circumstances. George Bernard Shaw said, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them.”
We tend to think of the will of God as circumstantial. Should I go here or there? Should I do this or that? And those are important questions. But even if you don’t know the answer to those questions, you know the will of God. I Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The will of God is more attitudinal than it is circumstantial.
Count Your Blessings
Psalm 103:2 says, “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget his benefits.” G.K. Chesterton said his ultimate goal in life was to take nothing for granted--not a sunrise, not a flower, not a laugh. What a great goal--to be grateful for absolutely everything! But here’s the challenge we face: we tend to take for granted that which we already have. When we’re healthy we take our health for granted. When we’re wealthy we take our wealth for granted. That’s human nature. M.J. Ryan calls it “retroactive gratitude.”
Retroactive gratitude is realizing after something is over or someone is gone that you really appreciated what you had, but wasn’t aware of it until it was gone. Joan Borysenko says we need to “thank God for what doesn’t need healing.”
One gratitude-killer is taking for granted what we already have. Another gratitude-killer is always wanting more. Dr. Vincent Ryan says, “The secret to life is to know when enough is enough.” That’s what Ecclesiastes 5:10 says in regard to money. “Whoever loves money never has money enough.”
Greed is always wanting more--enough is never enough. You’re never happy because you never have enough. Gratitude is being thankful for what you already have--enough is enough. I have a friend who has what he calls an “income ceiling.” Everything he makes over that income ceiling he gives away. He’s made a financial decision that enough is enough. And he gives everything else away!
Conscious Gratitude
Gratitude is all about focus. Susan Jeffers says, “When we focus on our abundance, our life feels abundant; when we focus on our lack, our life feels lacking. It is purely a matter of focus.”
Colossians 4:2 says, “Be watchful and thankful.” I think those two things go hand in hand. We need to literally be on the lookout for things to be grateful for. A few years ago I kept a gratitude journal--everyday I journaled three things I was grateful for. It was one of the happiest times of my life because I was always on the lookout for things to be thankful for.
In her book Attitudes of Gratitude, M.J. Ryan talks about two types of gratitude--spontaneous and conscious. Spontaneous gratitude is being surprised by life and overwhelmed with gratitude. It just happens naturally. Conscious gratitude, on the other hand, is an intentional approach to life that focuses on what’s right instead of what’s wrong, what we have instead of what we don’t have.
Go Back
In Luke 19, Jesus heals ten lepers. He tells them, “‘Go show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him--and he was a Samaritan.”
Lepers were quarantined from the rest of society because leprosy was thought to be contagious. The only way to reenter society was to get a priest to certify that your leprosy had gone into remission or been cured. Jesus tells the ten lepers to go show themselves to the priest and before they have any evidence of being healed they go. All these lepers had faith. All of them are physically healed. But the Samaritan leper who “came back” and “thanked him” was healed on a much deeper level. He was healed of ingratitude.
Jews considered Samaritans irreligious. They worshiped on the wrong mountain. They were “half-breeds.” But Jesus commends this Samaritan leper because he comes back and says thanks. Maybe God could care less about how “religious” or “irreligious” we are. Maybe what God wants is a grateful heart?
The key phrase in Luke 19 is “came back.” Gratitude is going back and giving thanks. The philanthropist, John Marks Templeton, said, “For more than thirty years, my family sent Thanksgiving cards rather than Christmas cards to our friends, desiring to spread our gratitude for the many gifts of life.”
This week I decided to go back and give thanks. I spent part of an afternoon writing “thank you” notes to people in my life that have made a difference. I felt so fulfilled afterwards. It felt so good to go back and say thanks! We need to say “thank you” as much and as often and to as many people as we possibly can.
The 17th century Anglican poet, George Herbert said, “You have given me so much. Give me one more thing--a grateful heart.”