The Bourne Identity
From the Series—God at the Box Office
March 25, 2003Two Questions
Your outlook on life and the outcome of your life will be determined by your answer to two questions. They are the two most important questions anyone can ask and answer.
Who is God?
Who am I?
I heard a story a few weeks ago about a little boy that was drawing a picture when his dad came home from work. The dad asked his son what he was drawing. The little boy said, “ I’m drawing a picture of God .” His dad said, “Son, no one knows what God looks like.” The little boy said, “They will when I’m done!”
No one knows what God looks like , but we all have an internal image or conception or picture of what God is like. And that image or conception or picture of God is the most important thing about us. A.W. Tozer said, “ What comes to mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you .”
Here’s how the process works. According to psychologists, children start developing internal pictures of external realities at about six months of age. The technical term is representational intelligence . At about six months, a baby develops an internal image of mom. At eight months, the typical baby develops an internal image of dad. Before you know it, your baby will start crawling and develop an internal map of your entire house--especially the location of all electrical outlets! That process of internalizing external reality never stops. We internalize everything—including God .
Almost like a Polaroid , our picture of God develops over a lifetime. I have a very different picture of who God is now than I did ten years ago. And ten years from now my image of God will be different. It’s not a static thing.
In a sense, life is a process of discovering who God is . It’s all about answering the question: who is God ? On another level, life is a process of discovering who we are . It’s all about answering the question: who am I ?
Those questions and quests are not mutually exclusive. If you want to know who you are you need to know who God is . The medieval mystic, Saint Teresa of Avila said, “As I see it, we shall never succeed in knowing ourselves unless we seek to know God .”
The Bourne Identity
The opening scene in The Bourne Identity shows a body floating sixty miles off the coast of Marseilles in the Mediterranean Sea. Jason Bourne, played by Matt Damon, doesn’t know how he got there or who he is. He has no memory , no name , no identity . The movie is all about his quest to rediscover who he really is.
At the end of the book version of The Bourne Identity , there is a profound statement that summarizes the book and the movie. It says Jason Bourne is “a functioning microcosm of all of us.” “ We are all trying to find out who we are .”
In II Samuel 7:18, King David asks “the question” that Jason Bourne asks over and over again. He says, “ Who am I , O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord?”
The Inward Journey
One of the great ironies of The Bourne Identity is that Jason Bourne knows that he doesn’t know who he is . In a sense, his amnesia is a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse, because as Bourne says in the book, “ What a man can’t remember doesn’t exist . For him .” But the amnesia also forced Jason Bourne to be intentional about rediscovering his real identity. It’s that type of intentionality that we need to rediscover who we really are.
Beryl Markham says, “You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself .” Sydney Harris said, “Ninety percent of the world’s woes come from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, or even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves .”
Self-discovery is a long, hard process that lasts a lifetime. Henry David Thoreau said, “It is easier to sail many thousands of miles through cold and storm than it is to explore the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean of one’s being .”
There is a fascinating dialogue in the book between Jason Bourne and the doctor who resuscitates him. Dr. Geoffrey Washburn says, “It’s vital that you spend prolonged periods of time on the water , some of it at night. Not under controlled conditions, not as a passenger, but subjected to reasonably harsh conditions—the harsher the better , in fact. If I could conjure up a storm and a minor shipwreck for you, I would .”
Jason Bourne had a near-death experience. Dr. Washburn’s prescription for rediscovering his identity was to revisit the place where the near-death experience happened.
Two years ago I had a near-death experience. My intestines ruptured and I went in for emergency surgery at 2 AM on July 24th, 2000. I spent two days on a respirator, eight days in the hospital, and went through several surgical procedures. The only way I can describe that experience is that it’s the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never want it to happen again , but I’m glad it happened because it totally changed my perspective on life.
In his book, Callings , Gregg Levoy interviews people who are forced to “ consult their deaths .” When they discovered they were going to die, a few of them shattered psychologically, but many of them felt liberated. One woman diagnosed with cancer said it was “ not a death sentence, but a life sentence .”
Crises have a way of expediting the process of discovering who God is and who we are . As I look at my life, it’s the disappointments , the failures , the tough times and stressful times that really reveal who God is and who I am. The highs and lows of life reveal our true identity.
Dr. Washburn says, “ spend prolonged periods of time on the water .” In other words, go back to the place where you lost your true identity . You need to go back to that place where you became someone you’re not . Some of you are living someone else’s dream . You’re living other’s expectations . You need to spend prolonged periods of time on the water. You need to go back to that place where you lost your identity.
I’ll never forget one of the testimonies at our Baptism by the Bay in ‘02. Rachel said, “ Now I’m the person I was as a child --I was always smiling and laughing.” A relationship with Christ is a like a second childhood . The word “ convert “ means “ to reverse .” God reverses the effects of sin. He redeems the bad experiences. And he helps us rediscover who we were meant to be. And as George Eliot says, “ It’s never too late to be who you might have been .”
Human Becomings
Vaclav Havel says, “ One’s identity is never in one’s possession as something given, completed, and unquestionable .” Alfred Adler said we are not “human beings.” We are “ human becomings .”
A few years ago Tuesdays with Morrie hit bestseller lists across the country. A sports writer named Mitch Albom reconnects with his college professor, Morrie Schwartz, and Mitch records the lessons he learns about life.
On the seventh Tuesday together they talk about aging. Morrie says, “I embrace aging .” “It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more . If you stayed twenty-two, you’d always be as ignorant as your were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it .”
Then Morrie says something profound. “The truth is, part of me is every age . I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty-seven-year-old, I’m a fifty-year-old. I’ve been through all of them, and I know what it’s like. I delight in being a child when it’s appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it’s appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be ! I am every age, up to my own .”
Isn’t that a great perspective on life? The process of self-discovery never ends. I’m not who I was . And I’m not who I will become . We’re works in progress .
The Mirror
The key to self-discovery is seeing yourself the way God sees you . Scripture is a window and a mirror . Some passages are like a window through which we see God . Other passages are like a mirror through which we see ourselves .
James 1:22 says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the world and does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”
The Bible is our mirror ! When we look in the mirror we see ourselves the way God sees us. So what does God see when he looks at us?
The Image of God
In Genesis 1:26, God says, “ Let us make man in our image , in our likeness.” When God looks at us He sees His reflection , His likeness, His image . I’m not saying that image is in perfection condition. It isn’t. It’s broken and marred and distorted by sin. But it’s still there!
Charles Darwin, in On the Origin of the Species , said, “Man with all his noble qualities still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin .” I couldn’t agree with anything less. We bear the indelible stamp of our divine origin . Some people think that Scripture has a low view of humankind because it says that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” But that’s just a reality check . None of us is morally perfect. The truth is: Scripture has the highest view of humankind you can possibly have. We are made in the image of God. We are invaluable and irreplaceable !
C.S. Lewis said that we need to be reminded more than instructed . We need to remind ourselves that each of us is made in the image of God. It’ll change the way we see ourselves and the way we see others. We are image-bearers !
There is a rabbinical teaching that says, “A man should carry two stones in his pocket. On one should be inscribed, ‘ I am but dust and ashes .’ On the other, ‘ For my sake the world was created .’ And he should use each stone as he needs it .”
The Temple of God
I Corinthians 6:19 says, “Do you not know that your body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit , who is in you, whom you have received from God?” When we put our faith in Christ, it sets off a spiritual chain reaction . Multiple things happen simultaneously. Part of the chain reaction is that the Holy Spirit literally moves in and takes up residence within us. Followers of Christ don’t live in their own strength or wisdom. We are empowered and enlightened by the Holy Spirit.
I Corinthians 3:16 says, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred , and you are that Temple .”
Last year I went on a pilgrimage at the National Cathedral. Part of the pilgrimage was a tour of the cathedral. The National Cathedral is the sixth largest cathedral in the world. It is a tenth of a mile long , 289 feet wide and 301 feet high. It covers 83,000 square feet . It is absolutely majestic. The sculptures, the architecture, and the stained glass windows are exquisite. It took 80 years to build . As we toured the Cathedral my first reaction was one of awe--what an amazing temple. But I remember having this distinct thought: as impressive as this temple is, its not nearly as valuable or amazing as a single human temple !
Child of God
One of my favorite songs is Child of God . The lyrics are awesome. “Father you’re all I need. My soul’s sufficiency . My strength when I am weak. The love that carries me. Your arms enfold me, till I am only a child of God .” When I’m down or discouraged, I fall back on one simple fact: I’m a child of God. And if everything else were taken away, that’s enough.
An NCCer emailed me their story recently. They said, “For those who are willing to define themselves by the thoughts and opinions of others , there is an open market out there that is more than willing to contribute. My identity is not defined by the things of this world, but relies solely upon the fact that I am a Son of God .”
John 1:12 says, “To all who have received him, he gave the right to become children of God .”
To Be or Not To Be
The key to self-discovery is seeing yourself the way God sees you. When God looks at you He sees His image, His temple, and His child. And you need to see yourself the way God sees you.
The Irish Philosopher, George Berkeley, said, “ To be is to be perceived .” Our perception of ourselves is based on other’s perception of us. That’s just the way life works. At one point in the book, Jason Bourne puts it this way. “ I’m a reproduced illusion .”
Your self-image is, in large part, the by-product of your parents parenting and your teachers teaching and your coaches coaching and your friends befriending. Here’s the problem with that: even if you had great parents, great teachers, great coaches, and great friends, their perception of you is still flawed and incomplete. The only one who really knows you--the true you--is God.
In II Samuel 7:20, David says, “ You know your servant , O Sovereign Lord.” David expands that idea in Psalm 139. “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me . You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways . Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord.”
There are a lot of people who “know” me. They “know” my name or my face. But they don’t “know” me like my friends “know” me. And my friends don’t “know” me like my family “knows” me. But my family doesn’t “know” me the way I “know” me. And I don’t “know” me the way God “knows” me.
If you follow the logic of this passage here is the conclusion you come to: if you don’t know God you don’t really know yourself . Or to put it another way: if you really want to get to know yourself you’ve got to get to know God .
God knows you better than you know you . There is nothing about us that God doesn’t know. Matthew 10:30 says he has the number of hairs on your head numbered. Psalm 4:1 says God even considers our sighing--those low-frequency distress signals. He knows where we are-- geographically and psychologically and spiritually --at all times. He knows every engram--the memory traces that record every thought, every word, every experience we’ve ever had on our cerebral cortex.
The way we discover who we are is by discovering who God is. We let God define reality for us instead of trying to define it ourselves. We let God tell us who we are instead of listening to all the other voices.
The White Stone
One of the most poignant scenes in The Bourne Identity is the opening scene. You can feel Jason Bourne’s frustration. He’s trying to figure out who he is, but he says, “ I don’t even have a name .”
All of us have a name given to us by our parents, but that isn’t our real name . Revelation 2:17 says that each of us have a name that only God knows and only God can give . “To Him who overcomes,” the Lord says, “I will give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it .” I think the first time we hear that name our entire lives will come into perfect perspective--everything will make sense.
John Eldredge says, “The history of man’s relationship with God is the story of how God calls him out, takes him on a journey and gives him his true name .”
Knock Knock
One final thought. Sandor McNab says, “ Nothing determines who we will become so much as those things we choose to ignore .” Revelation 3:20 says God is standing at the door and knocking. You can answer the door or ignore the knock .
You can choose to ignore God, but nothing will determine, to your detriment, who you will become as much as ignoring God. Soren Kierkegaard said, “ Now , with God’s help , I shall become myself .”